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Thursday, September 16, 2010

Reunion planning drama!

First and foremost - Happy Birthday to one of my best blogging friends - KRYSTEN!!!

So, the reunion is coming along.  It has been myself with 2 other girls (one is my real life BFF).  We are the ones who met in the beginning and came up with the game plan - we created an email address that we all access, along with using google documents (seriously, if you don't or haven't used gDocs, you have NO idea what you are missing) that we share to keep up with what we've finished, where we need help, etc.  It has been a place to talk out our idea amongst 3 people and pros and cons of situations.  We have a few helpers on the side that have done things for us, but we give them 'orders' based on what the 3 of us decide.  It's easier to have few people making decisions than too many.
So... last week Friday, Pam and I (Pam is the real life bff) met to order our food for the night - we are doing apps and hors d'oeuvres - the other girl, who at this point we'll just call "Y", couldn't make it.  No big deal - Pam and I can handle the menu on our own and Y sent us her suggestions anyhow.
So that went off without a hitch and Pam and I left the place feeling pretty upbeat about actually pulling this thing off.. without having to tap into our own funds to support it.

Once I got home, on a Friday night, I open the gDoc and update it telling Y what we ordered (also inputting it to have it saved somewhere other than my unreliable brain).. and things seemed to be fine.  Later that night Y wrote on the gDoc stating that she saw some pin name tags at work and would try and snag them or purchase them as long as she gets reimbursed (keep in mind, up to this point, we have all discussed buying those cheap little stick on name tags).  Myself being in charge of money said... well here, I'll copy and paste the exact verbiage (Y is green, I am red):

9/10/10 - Thinking ahead -- at work I saw some pin name tags (I’ll see if I can snag these).  If not, I can purchase them as long as I get reimbursed.  I get tax-exempt if I use my Officemax card.  I’ll print them off at home in color probably.  
I’m not sure what exactly you’re talking about there, but hopefully they aren’t too expensive?  I’m not sure spending money on name tags needs to be our main focus. whatever is purchased, just make sure you save your receipts.

Notice how I say 'not sure what these are' and end my statement in a question about the cost?  Then go on to say that if something is purchased, I need a receipt to reimburse (which to me implies that I'm open to the idea even though I'm really not because I'm not sure that people want to be putting pin holes in their nice clothes...)
Here is her reply to my red statement/question:
 9/13/10 -- Name tags are important -- since everyone doesn’t really know each other.  I didn’t imply it be our main focus.  Just making sure we’re prepared with some. Plus I was suggesting trying to get a good deal on them if not free.  Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t the Gdocs a place for us to put down our ideas?? If not, maybe I’ll let you handle all the details from here on out.  

I wasn't being a bitch, but even if I were or came across as bitchy... shouldn't you have a backbone by the time you're 10 years out of high school and volunteering to help plan a reunion?
So upon reading this I become mildly irate - I wait before replying.  Then I write something along the lines of this (which I added to and deleted from until I came up with this based on trying not to overreact and completely go over the top):

Yep, and I was stating my thoughts as well.  I know we need name tags and I wasn’t suggesting we not get them - just saying that we want to make sure we don’t spend a ton of money on fancy name tags (i also said ‘i don’t know exactly what you’re talking about here’, so for all i know it could be some super extravagant name tag). Notice how i ended with a question mark rather than a period or exclamation point... it was a question about the cost of your thought.   I also didn’t suggest that you were implying we spend a fortune, I’m just trying to keep things in focus... correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the point of sharing this gDoc between 3 people to make sure we cover all the details and all have input on what we do have?  Never once did i say ‘No, we are not doing that’ - i was giving my opinion.  sorry.  I’m glad to take over if you don’t want to help any longer.

Then I go into the email inbox and notice she deleted her name label (we are using gmail and created labels for each of us so we'd know which email are being taken care of by which person).  So I sent her a personal email saying something along the lines of 'after reading your reply in the gdoc and then noticing you deleted your name label I can only assume you're stepping back from planning.  please let me know if that is the case, so I can begin to tend to things.'

I can't be sure if she read my reply in the gdoc or even my email for that matter.  As you can see, her bitch of a reply was posted on Monday and my bitch of a reply was posted that same afternoon.  I also sent the email that Monday afternoon.
I heard nothing back from her.
So yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon I send her another email stating the same thing and asking to please let me know one way or another what she is doing - mind you, I'm being nasty polite in these emails.
THEN... I go on to our eventbrite (sort of like evite) website to take a peek at things and notice that she deleted herself as a part of the planning committee (she was the one in charge of managing that site).  So then I go back to my personal gmail and send one last email to her telling to to disregard both of my previous emails and thanked her for her help up to this point.
My next step was to change ALL passwords to gmail, eventbrite, and every other site that we all had access to.  I also removed her access to the Google document.

Now, it's just Pam and I (and Pam is too sweet to even know what drama is, really).. so whatever - I'm managing the bank account, so I feel stuck in this for the long haul - anyone else who wants to back out surely can.  Passwords and names on websites can and will be changed.

This is the end of my rant for the day - now, understanding that text can and, as of late in society, is often misconstrued; do you think my initial reply (asking about cost and whatnot) was bitchy or did it somehow mislead you into thinking I was saying anything along the lines of 'hell no bitch, we ain't buying these!'
I surely didn't mean it that way... and as many times as I read it... I still don't see it that way.  Obviously I don't want to admit fault in the situation, just because I'm a stubborn person by nature - however, I really truly feel like I did nothing wrong here.

Thoughts one way or another on the situation?  if not, just leave me a comment and remind me that the reunion is just over a week away and it'll all be over soon!


Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Like you said, your original comment to her was more of a question and being a bit confused than anything else. If she took it as you being bitchy then she obviously read into something that wasn't even there.

And even if she DID think you were being bitchy the least she could do was to reply to you one way or the other to let you know if she was indeed backing out.

How childish. You're right, 10 years should be enough time to stop acting childish and over-dramatic.

Thanks for the birthday shout out by the way! We'll need to get together soon!

Lovi said...

Yikes...sorry to hear you're having to deal with drama like that. I think you handled it really well though.

Kristi said...

Reunion planning sounds like a major PITA. No wonder no one planned anything for my 15 year!

Harley said...

Wooooah major overreaction on her part!! Are you sure she's not annoyed with you about something else??

It'll all be over soon! It'll all be over soon! It'll all be over soon!

Smart Ass Sara said...

I think that this kind of confirms that despite it being 10 years out...nobody changes. ;)

And my reunion was lame ass but seriously- why not just buy the pack of sticky nametags that are like 100 for maybe $2? That's what we had and we had to write our name on there (with out maiden name) and good enough. Everyone was too drunk to read them anyways. LOL>

Ang said...

Harley - if she is mad at me for another reason then she still needs to be a man and talk to me about it - though I don't think there is any reason to be pissed.

Sara - $2 pack of name tags is EXACTLY my point. thanks :)

gringationcancun said...

To be honest, it did sound kinda bitchy to me. The way it reads, it sounds like you're saying, "I reject your idea before I even know what it is." I see by your explanation that's not what you meant, but that's how it reads.

That being said, her reaction was INSANE. Why wouldn't she just ask you to clarify? Or better yet, EXPLAIN what she was talking about. Was there something else leading up to this? Cuz that's crazy haha

gringationcancun said...

Just to clarify... I know you're not bitchy! You're a sweetheart. Hope this is your last issue, and everything else sounds like it's going well.

Dana Leigh said...

Wow, that girl completely overreacted and is being a baby. There was nothing wrong with your initial email/questions. I don't know why the "regular" name tags aren't good enough. They've been used FOREVER for every single type of event. They must being doing the job. Good luck with the rest of the planning. You'll be the hero (and Pam) after this is all said and done.


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