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Thursday, August 28, 2008

just cause...

It's not often that I blog twice in a day, but all of the sudden I'm feeling out of control.

I want to get my message across but don't want to be that girl and freak out about this stuff. Forgive me if it doesn't make sense. I'm writing in hopes to calm myself down.
There has been this situation lately... one that I've grown emotionally invested in. It's becoming painfully clear to me that I shouldn't have invested any emotion in it at all. I don't understand why. Communication is simple... guess not for everyone. I'm done.


THEN... after I've been dealing with this for a few days, I come to find out that a friend of mine has chosen to associate himself with people who have hurt and betrayed him in the past.
I know one person reading this will know exactly who I am talking about.
Fucking myspace... I actually check out my friends profiles every once in awhile - I go to one tonight, to see what, if anything, is new, and maybe leave a comment saying hi. Unfortunately for me I read another comment and feel the need to do some investigating. Come to find out not only is he associating with these people, he is back with them on the regular?!
I understand history, I understand forgiving and forgetting, I even understand the benefit of the doubt... but I was there for the entire depression he suffered because of these people. Our (at the time) new friendship couldn't develop as it should have because of what he was going through.
I'm all for people making decisions for themselves, and who am I to tell someone how to live their life? Especially when we aren't even that close anymore...
I'm scared for him. I don't want it to happen again, not to him.
I guess I'm also pissed that I had to find the news via myspace and not him.

I'm not a fan and, friend or not, I don't think I can be.

1 comment:

Kristi @ Mi Vida Ocupada said...

I know what you're talking about and I have made my feelings clear to him about my concerns about the situation. Why set yourself up again?? I have refused to listen to their crap for the past 5 years and I have no emotional investment. E is being much more positive... we can talk about this later, work has JUST blocked Gmail, so I will not be able to respond to any e-mails you send me until late this afternoon...

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