I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Wondering if things happen for a reason or if we control our own fate. Then last week my friend, Lovi, posted this blog talking about the same thing. Pretty sure that happened for a reason, although it didn't help in my thought process. I generally like to have control of my life, but I'm fine giving in and saying that things happen for a reason - life can be both, right? We make decisions and face what comes of them, but we are presented with those decisions by way of fate, right? In other words, fate gives us options and we control what we do with them. Granted, somethings are out of our control so we must leave them to fate; but is there a reason those things happen? Oh boy, now I'm really confusing myself; are you still with me?
There is a email that I've seen many times called Reason Season Lifetime - it's about people coming into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime. Here, in case you haven't read it:
People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
or to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.
Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON,
it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,
the season eventually ends.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being part of my life.
Now - I understand the theory here, I do believe that this is true to an extent. What I don't get and what frustrates me to no end is how we know what a person is to us - Is this John Doe a reason, season, or a lifetime person to me? LOL, sounds silly because that's kind of the point right? You aren't supposed to know at the time, but once you figure it out it will all be clear.
Lets take for example an ex-boyfriend of mine; I know (now) for a fact that he was a 'reason'. I met him the summer after I graduated, we fell hard for each other fast, and then shortly after we began, my dad left. Had I not met this guy, I would have been so alone in dealing with that and he provided me a shoulder to cry on and just an overall distraction from 'real life'. While we still have a friendship to this day, our close relationship ended a short time after. He was sent to me for a reason, then it was done. I'm convinced he provided me with something I couldn't have got from someone else; friend nor family member.
Then we have family, which in most cases are the 'lifetime' people. I try (and TRY) to take lessons from those related to me; my mother for example. I've talked a few times in my blog about how my mother drives me up the wall... it's for little things, although some not so little... but the things I see in her that bother me, I try to apply to my own life. For example, my mother doesn't pay attention to people when they talk, she'll listen when you begin but then, like a switch, you can actually see her turn off and stop. At my niece's birthday party my dad was talking to my mom, he stopped short in his tracks, and said "You aren't listening anymore; are you?" He saw it... the thing that I always tell her she does. Crap... horrible tangent - back on track... the things I see in her, I try to apply to me and try to make myself a better person because of it. So.. she is a 'lifetime' person and I'm tryin' my damndest to know and apply the lesson(s).
So... back to the how do you know thing. When someone leaves your life (by way of death, distance, or otherwise), how do you take step back and realize why they were in your life to begin with, let alone why they've left? Does that make sense? Ugh, I feel like I'm just repeating the same thing over and over and not making a point here; maybe I'm not trying to make a point but sort out my thoughts.
Silly to think or expect that I should know, because I'm pretty sure that is the mystery here. I just know that if I had any sort of insight as to why people come and go and why things happen the way they do, my mind would be clearer and my life would be happier. God, that sounds stupid. Of course it would, Ang!
I'm just at a loss for how to move on knowing I've made the right decisions in life. What if I've walked away from a 'lifetime' person because it felt like the 'reason' was met.
This goes way deeper than people though; I'm just scratching the surface here... one of life's great mysteries that you just have to take one day at a time, I guess.
Thanks for reading... I'm sure you'll agree that my thoughts are sometimes a waste of your time.