I started smoking when I was somewhere around... 7th grade. Horrible, huh? My dad started smoking when he was in 3rd grade... who does that?! I've always considered myself a smoker, even during the times I didn't smoke. There has never been a time in my life when I've been 'quit' where I didn't smoke once in awhile. I've been an official non-smoker since November of 2004 - at least by my definition. By my definition if I don't buy and smoke cigarettes regularly (daily), I'm a non-smoker. I would have one here and there, mainly when I'd have a beer or two, but I'd never buy them and usually regret it the next morning. When the smoking ban went into effect, it was great for me... sitting in a bar having a beer without a cloud of smoke over my head was just the thing I needed to not crave a cigarette. Then summer would come and patios provided the opportunity for me to have the desire again.
It was a never ending battle for me, but nothing I was ever worried about as the most I'd ever have was one or two. I entered a time in my life of great stress and turned to cigarettes to get me through. I told absolutely no one, I bought a pack, I smoked them alone. It dawned on me what I was doing and new I needed to quit ASAP - I tossed out the rest of the pack... all in all it was a horrible decision that lasted just a few days. We all make mistakes and hopefully we learn from them; I try hard to live my life without regret.
I'm okay with smoking every now and again, if it is in fact just one or two - like I said above, I've always considered myself a smoker... I truly believe it's who I am, even if I'm not buying and smoking daily.
I've had a lot of people asking me lately if I want to smoke... well, maybe not a lot of people, but... well, for example, my weekend up north with my cousins - people all over were smoking and offering them to me as well - I turned my head at them every time; not something I generally do when I'm drinking. I was so proud of myself when I woke up on Sunday morning and could say that I came out of 2 nights of heavy drinking without touching a cigarette! Not even a drag.
I've seen a lot of people smoking on TV lately and it's making me think about it a lot more. I'm not worried about starting again; I only do it when I'm drinking or stressed. I just know that it's an ongoing battle... one that I have to be strong about and one that I've decided to finally blog about.
I'm extremely proud of myself for making it through the weekend without smoking... matter of fact, I can't remember the last time I did. That's something worth writing about!!
Hope everyone has/had a great weekend - depending on when you read this ;)