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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

10 Day You Challenge: 8 Fears

I'm scared of a lot of things, actual deep fears though... that's different.  Here is a sampling of both...

  1. My number one fear is being alone.  Not for an hour or a weekend.. but forever.  For some reason I've always felt like I was going to end up alone and lonely for the rest of my life.  To this day - even though I have Steve and we talk of spending forever together - this fear is still a prominent thought in my head.  something could go wrong, what if something happens... etc.  I love being around people and I love having someone to share things with.. I just can't fathom not having that.  I don't even like thinking about it.
  2. Heights - ugh.  I do things that would make you think I'm not scared, but I am.  I LOVE to go up to the top of buildings and look OUT... but I HATE looking down!  Skydiving was different... once all was said and done.  I knew I'd be scared while up there and before jumping out - but I just told myself to not look down... so I didn't.  I just fell out of the plane and when I opened my eyes, we were already falling.  I had GREAT faith in the parachute... I knew I was going to be headed towards the ground, but I also knew I had something to 'catch' me.  When I'm at the top of a building (say the Sears Tower) if I were to fall.. there would be NOTHING to catch me.  That is terrifying.
  3. The Dark - I'm not scared of the dark like how children are, I'm not worried that monsters are going to come out of my closet - but I certainly don't like the dark.  It's a huge adjustment for me to live in this new house with Steve in that regard.  I'm used to sleeping with a TV on or a computer monitor or something that provides me with some sort of light.  It's strange, I know my way around without light... I just get kind of scared when it's dark.  Maybe I'm scared that there will be someone in my house?  I don't know... it's fitting for this topic though, so there you have it.
  4. Public Speaking.  Ugh.  I'm just fine in a group of people having a conversation, but once I'm put on the spot and asked to 'present' it's like my nerves take over and I get super red in the face before fumbling over my words.  Even at our little monthly work meetings, we sit around a table with just the people I talk to everyday ~11 people... and when I have to open a topic or I have to lead... I just clam up.  I had to stand up and say something at a birthday party we had several years back for my grandma... that's just family, and I almost couldn't do it.  I have little to no memory of it either, it's like a black out or something.  Public speaking class in High School was AWFUL!
  5. The Dentist.  I've tried to get better about this as I've aged, but I just can't do it.  I hate making the 6 month trip, I know it's only a cleaning and they'll be done in no time at all, but I still get tense and anxious before I have to go.  It wasn't until a couple years ago that I tried no gas for a cleaning.  Yep - that's right, gas just for a cleaning.  I've done without it now for a couple years, but it's not easy - and really the only reason I don't get the gas is because my insurance doesn't cover it for a cleaning.  Don't even get me started on needing a filling... I hope my teeth last forever.
  6. Elevators.  I use them, but I don't like to.  I have a good reason for this fear and it's two-fold: not only do I dislike small spaces, but once upon a time I was stuck in an elevator.  It wasn't overnight or anything crazy, but we were a couple floors up and all of the sudden, the elevator stopped and fell those couple floors to the basement level.  It fell fast and hard too (that's what she said?).  No one was hurt and we were out probably 45 minutes later, but it was still scary and has absolutely contributed to my fear of those damn things.  I'll use stairs or an escalator first, if given the option. 
  7. Phone calls... strange, I know.  I think it's sort of a type of social anxiety disorder, but not to the extent that others may have it.  I just really hate making calls, answering calls, or whatever on the phone.  I get panicky - what should I say, what if there is an awkward silence - I'm good on the phone, and I know it - hell, it's part of my job!  It really takes me a few minutes of getting my head straight to make a call and I often times don't answer calls because of this fear.  Text messages and smart phones have really helped me not have to deal with this... thank God!
  8. While it's not a great fear, I do shriek when I see bugs/spiders (however, I've been playing it cool around Steve).  I despise killing creatures as well, not because I care, but because I hate the crunchy sound they make when you squish them!  I just don't like creepy/crawly things by me... you can't fault me for that - can you?


Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels that way about the phone. I HATE the phone. I hate answering, I hate making calls... it just freaks me out. So weird.

Smart Ass Sara said...

I don't like making calls, but I don't mind answering them. Maybe because I've done it for work since I started working and I'm OK with it? I don't like when someone is watching/listening to me on the phone though. Which is bizarre.

I also am terrified of the dark. If I'm with people I'm OK, but ask me to go outside and take the garbage out? Not going to happen. I have a fear of being abducted or worse so I think it's just a combination of the two that send me over the edge.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only person terrified of phone calls! I will do ANYTHING to avoid a phone call.

When my desk phone rings at work, I tense up.

Today I have to call the IRS and I'm panicking hahaha

Kristi said...

I also hate the phone such as I cant make myself an appt for the life of me either, need to see many DRs and get my hair cut but I wont make the call!! I also hate heights.

I was surprised to read about your fear of public speaking thing, I figured you would like the attention ;) I actually enjoy public speaking and speech class was my favroite in HS, I even volunteered to go first every single time.
I also do not like elevators but bugs or spiders and the dentist has never bothered me a bit

Shannon said...

Hehe... I knew about the fear of phone calls, but I still call you anyways :) Didn't know about the public speaking fear... I won't require you to make a speech at my wedding!!! Love you

JerseySjov said...

spiders are the worst. there was a spider in my room a couple weeks ago and i was tweaking out yelling "KILL IT KILL IT" at my bf

Annah said...

The dark. I seriously can't believe that almost verging thirty this is true for me... But I'm with you.

Also... You're my XXX button holder for the week :)

And my captcha for this comment was "doggie" <--- CUTE

Dana said...

This is a great list and you are so candid about it. Um, yeah, spiders are right there for me too. I'm not a big fan of the phone either or public speaking and I think I'm getting more afraid of the dentist the older I get.


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