Thoughts for Tuesday...

For some reason I got to thinking about my past relationships last night in the shower... maybe it's because I was texting with an ex.

For the most part I've managed to end most of my relationships on good terms; no bad blood, no dirty laundry, and able to truly remain friends; we just understand that it's time for the relationship to be over on that level.  I have a few exes that I've remained in contact with and there are certain things I miss about the relationship, sure, but it's never enough for me to desire having that relationship back.

The reason I'm writing this is I got to thinking about my very last relationship before Steve... it would have been happening during my years of blogging... I don't think I wrote much about it or about the guy, but he entered my mind last night and I realized that I miss nothing about him or that relationship.  It dawned on me that it probably wasn't the best relationship to begin with if I didn't grieve over losing him .. I think I was sad for like a week, if even.  I think there are several factors that play into that; he lived in a different state being number one.  I was used to not having him around, so what's the difference now?  We just don't talk on the phone or email anymore.

It wasn't an abusive relationship, but I think him being older than me made him want to change me into someone sophisticated enough to be with him.  That isn't how I roll.  At the time, I thought I was in love, and maybe I was, so I went along with it and wore the clothes he wanted when we were together, or acted a certain way in a certain setting... overall, everything about that was not me.  I've never been one to confirm to anything .. for anyone!

Needless to say, I'm very happy that relationship has ended and he and I have exchanged hello's a few times over the years and he seems to be happy in his life, I'm very happy that he is.. what person doesn't deserve happiness, right?  It's probably the easiest end to a relationship I've ever been a part of... it's always sad to part ways, but when it's truly not meant to be, it's so much easier.

Anyhow... I'm not sure I have a point here, it's just something that felt good to acknowledge to myself and thought it was worth documenting.  It's hard to know it at the time, but usually things that come to an end do so for a valid reason.

Love

At what point do you realize you love somebody in your life?  I'm not talking about falling in love, but the family or closeness kind of love that you feel for a new family member or a best friend.

I feel like I want to tell people I love them a lot.  Maybe that's because my heart is so open and full, I have a lot to give in that department (I owe that to my Gma).

I have friends whom I've had forever and I truly love them - I know this to be true.  Not sure at what point I crossed over into that world of love, but my feelings for them are so deep and true.

Then you have people who come into your life through family measures - maybe you have a relative who begins dating someone and ends up getting married to that person, when do you form a love with that person, again, not being in love with them, but just having love for them?

How do you know what love is when it's not being in love?

Crazy wedding planning

So... I'm getting married, just in case you missed it.

The thing I haven't shared here, is that I'm getting married on June 1st... of 2013 (which is this year!).

I've been planning like a mad woman.

So far, we've booked our ceremony and reception site (both will take place in the same room), I've purchased my wedding dress, I've reserved speakers/lighting/mic (we're going to skip having a DJ and make our own playlists - huge money saver), we've purchased wedding bands, wedding favors should be arriving at our door tomorrow... and we're working on find a photographer right now.

In less than one week we're leaving for Cancun - which will be a welcomed break from planning... I just fear missing out on 7 days is going to put me so far behind.  Planning a wedding in less than 5 months is pretty fricken crazy to begin with.

Anyhow.. that's my little update.
New job is going fine, it's not my favorite job ever, but it helps pay the bills. I'm still readying all your blogs, sorry that I don't comment anymore - I spend my morning hours before work reading them, and there are just too many and not enough time - especially now since I'm planning a wedding!

What else...?
How are all of you?!

Year 2011 in Pictures

If you've been with me for a year or more, you know that I've taken to review my years in photo form.  Click these links through to see my photo reviews from 2010, 2009, and 2008.

So... prepare yourself for a long and picture heavy post!

First let's look at the trip Steve and I took to Hawaii back in February - what a beautiful place!

Then let's talk about great friends and great times:

Linnea's bachelorette party

Milwaukee and Six Flags with Krysten and Izzy

Jeff and Linnea's wedding!

Amanda and I at the Vikings game

Shotgunning my first beer EVER!

Second annual pumpkin carving

Monthly girls dinners with my best friends from way back when (me, Amanda, Pamela, and Abbie)

Dinner's with these wonderful ladies (some more than once this year!!)

My best friend, Pam, being preggers and throwing her a wonderful shower!

Natalie Marie - born 11/14/11

Continuing to develop a close friendship with my cousin, Shannon

Steve buying a house shortly after returning from Hawaii and him asking my to move in with him:

One of many shopping trips to Home Depot for the house

First big project - taking down wallpaper in the bedroom and painting it to suit us

painting our dining room a BEAUTIFUL shade of deep red

under cabinet lighting!

My wonderful brother and sister-in-law - and their amazing daughters, my nieces:

Doing a boudoir photo shoot!

Random photos of my year:

Diamond earrings for my 30th Birthday

One of my favorite photos of the year - taken along the North Shore of Lake Superior.

Found me a nice little red barn to photograph

Grand Marais Lighthouse

Winning first class tickets to fly somewhere!

My sweet kitty Boomer, though he had a bit of a rough patch, I feel like he is doing well now, he eats bland food only, but at least he's eating and keeping it down.

Cuddling on the couch

Fun drawings on the white board wall:

Getting a new baby brother - Wyatt Lewis, born 10/19/11

Good times with my amazing outcast cousins

Saving the best for last - this year of my life has been simply incredible and I owe that entirely to one person; Steve.  He has been my rock when I've broken down, he has loved me without question, he has expressed his love for me in ways I never knew possible.  If 2011 is any indication of how the rest of my life with this man will be, then bring it on!  My dear sweet boyfriend, I love you with all of my heart and soul; thank you for being with me and sharing in my joys and sorrows all of 2011.  I know 2012 will bring some difficult times, as we're already preparing for, but together I know we can get through it - you lean on me and I'll lean on you.  In the end, we have each other, and that's a lot.  I love you Steve.