Thoughts for Tuesday...

For some reason I got to thinking about my past relationships last night in the shower... maybe it's because I was texting with an ex.

For the most part I've managed to end most of my relationships on good terms; no bad blood, no dirty laundry, and able to truly remain friends; we just understand that it's time for the relationship to be over on that level.  I have a few exes that I've remained in contact with and there are certain things I miss about the relationship, sure, but it's never enough for me to desire having that relationship back.

The reason I'm writing this is I got to thinking about my very last relationship before Steve... it would have been happening during my years of blogging... I don't think I wrote much about it or about the guy, but he entered my mind last night and I realized that I miss nothing about him or that relationship.  It dawned on me that it probably wasn't the best relationship to begin with if I didn't grieve over losing him .. I think I was sad for like a week, if even.  I think there are several factors that play into that; he lived in a different state being number one.  I was used to not having him around, so what's the difference now?  We just don't talk on the phone or email anymore.

It wasn't an abusive relationship, but I think him being older than me made him want to change me into someone sophisticated enough to be with him.  That isn't how I roll.  At the time, I thought I was in love, and maybe I was, so I went along with it and wore the clothes he wanted when we were together, or acted a certain way in a certain setting... overall, everything about that was not me.  I've never been one to confirm to anything .. for anyone!

Needless to say, I'm very happy that relationship has ended and he and I have exchanged hello's a few times over the years and he seems to be happy in his life, I'm very happy that he is.. what person doesn't deserve happiness, right?  It's probably the easiest end to a relationship I've ever been a part of... it's always sad to part ways, but when it's truly not meant to be, it's so much easier.

Anyhow... I'm not sure I have a point here, it's just something that felt good to acknowledge to myself and thought it was worth documenting.  It's hard to know it at the time, but usually things that come to an end do so for a valid reason.