Movie Review - The Watchmen

I'm generally pretty open to Sci-Fi; Superheroes, total destruction of a city, talking ducks, cities in space, etc. .. hell, I just finished watching all of the Star Wars movies by choice, so obviously I'm opened minded.



Where to even begin... Let me rewind back 2 hours and 43 minutes to the beginning of this movie.



The Watchmen, as best I could keep my eyes open, is about a society in the 1980's where costumed superheroes once walked the streets like you and I do today; now they have basically been forced into 'retirement'.  The movie begins with a murder of one of their own and goes on to show the investigation of said murder, by superheroes new and old.  As many past superheroes have wound up dead, Rorschach (one of the many masked superheroes) has a theory that someone wants them all dead.  During all of this it flashes in and out of some political stories as the USA is tracking the threat of nuclear war with the Soviet Union on a Doomsday Clock.  


Beyond all of that I'm not sure what else there is.  I hated this movie.  I walked into the theater completely crabby to begin with and left wanting to put a gun in my mouth!  The Watchmen never actually grabbed my attention; I was bored, antsy, and 100% underwhelmed.  Because this movie is based off a comic book I can see someone saying "but Ang, you've never read the comic, so you just don't get it"  Maybe true, I haven't, so maybe I don't.  That being said, I have never read Batman, Superman, X-Men, or any other comic book, and I love those movies!  I think the point is to tell the story so someone like myself, who hasn't read a line of the comic, can still watch and appreciate it, all the while keeping it real for those comic book nerds.  


The only 2 things that kept me going was a) Malin Akerman and 2) the fact that there were at least 2 hours [of a 2 hour and 43 minute movie] of blue penis of which I knew the 2 guys I was with would have something to say.  Jeff kept uttering afterwards something along the lines of If the dude has omni powers, he could at least make a loin cloth!  You'd have to see the movie to understand... but I wouldn't suggest it.  


$55.7 Million in it's first weekend has made The Watchmen the biggest film opening of 2009, keeping in mind it was the only new release this weekend and it cost $150 Million to make.  It still has a long way to go before they profit... hopefully everyone will read this blog and NOT go see it!


I'm just a girl sitting here in Minnesota; my opinion is just that, my opinion, but I will say that I went with 4 people to see this movie and none of us liked it.  Some of the most entertaining parts of being in the theater were: finishing a huge tub of popcorn between 2 of us, Jeff sucking on his Gatorade bottle and making obnoxious noises, and Jeff's phone falling out of his pocket and watching him try to find it.  We couldn't get out of the theater fast enough... did I mention it's almost 3 hours long?




Grade: D+ (would be an F if it weren't for the cute girl in it)
Warnings: Nudity, Violence, Sexual Content... and I don't recall if language was an issue or not.