May is becoming my least favorite month... RIP Boomer

RIP Sweet Kitty

Back on May 3rd the hardest decision of my life was made.  Boomer was ready to leave my side and go play with the all the heavens have to offer.  All he can eat catnip, mice to chase, cheese and yogurt galore...

You don't need details... because simply, the details are not important.  His health was declining and rather than selfishly keeping him around and pumping him full of drugs and other crap, I decided it was time to move on.  The vet supported my decision and told me that cats don't show pain like people do and he was likely in pain.  Hard to hear, but a no-brainer as far as the decision.

He was my little buddy for 14 years.

It's been 3 weeks to the day and I'm still fucking distraught over it.  I went to the vet alone to talk it over, knowing the whole day it was coming... Steve came and I explained everything and we agreed.

It's so different losing a life that is part of your everyday.  You still look at the floor when you walk to give him a good pet or to make sure you're not going to step on him.  You still look at his food dish to make sure he's eating.  You still think to give him fresh water all the time.  You lay on the couch and wait for him to jump up and cuddle with you:

I've been in a downward spiral... drinking more than I should be, not working out, not having any real motivation for things in general.  I weighed myself this morning and I'm 0.8# away from hitting the next weight class {up} in weight... so hopefully I can go home and run tonight.  I can't cross back into that weight class.  I think that working out routinely will help boost my mood, as it has before, so I need to find the energy to try.  Even if it's just a short run, I need to do something.  I need out of this funk.

Last year on Mother's Day (May 10th), my Gma (and my best friend) passed.  3 years ago on May 22nd, 10 days before our wedding, Steve's mother passed.  Before I was born, on Mother's Day (May 12, 1972), my grandfather passed.  It just seems like May is quickly filling up with sad dates.